What a farce!

Indeed it is – in both senses of the word.

The following recipe evolved out of years of me treating myself to various nut roasts and vegetarian main course options. They had two major things in common, they were underwhelming and expensive.

I suppose I was always seduced by the advertising – seduced is the right word, these days food is designed to be sexy and whoever writes the copy deserves a literary oscar – cos it sure is a work of fiction!

I give you,

Écrou roti

nut roast sounds soooo much better in French

1 packet of sage and onion stuffing mix – from

the large boxes which contain two large pkts

- approximately 170g

1 packet of vac packed chestnuts – 250g chopped

A portion of apple sauce, a la Eliza Acton – 100-150g

1 large onion, finely chopped

Two handfuls of dried cranberries, chopped

Drop of rapeseed oil and knob of butter

Knob of butter

Pre-heat your oven 170fan/190c/Gas 5.

Place the stuffing in a large bowl, add 300ml boiling water with the knob of butter and mix. The mixture should be stiffish. Sauté the onion in a drop of rapeseed oil and knob of butter.

Add the onion to the stuffing mix, then add the apple sauce, chestnuts and cranberries.

Mix well and divide the mixture into 2 x 2lb loaf tins and bake, or freeze until required.

When baking I cover the loaf tins with foil for the first 15-20 mins and then remove the foil and let the top crisp for another 10 mins.

The best news about this dish is that it is easily made gluten free by using “Mrs Crimble's sage & onion stuffing mix”. Available in 170g packets.

If you'd prefer you can blitz your own breadcrumbs and add whatever takes your fancy – sauté onions and add dried thyme.

This Écrou roti freezes very well.

It also makes an excellent layer in a mega smega sandwich – veggie or not.

To save you time trawling through the blog, here's the Apple Sauce á la Elizabeth David and Eliza Acton :

Pre-heat oven to 140 fan/160c/Gas 3

Grease a glass dish with butter.

This sauce is so easy – the only emphasis is on the preparation of the apples. All the peel and core must be removed. There are no amounts here, you can cook as much sauce as you desire – it freezes well!! So, peel, core and slice your apples – if you can slice them a similar size they will cook more evenly.

Place your apples in your dish and cover with a lid or foil – NO WATER, SUGAR OR ANYTHING ELSE!!

Bake for 20-30 minutes. Check after 20. Apples should be soft. Here's the satisfying bit – whisk the apples until they begin to break up, sprinkle with caster sugar plus a generous knob of unsalted butter, whisk again.

I have a friend who makes me a Christmas Cake – the best I've ever tasted. Exchange is no robbery – I will give her Écrou roti in exchange – nothing like a spot of bartering - what a plan!

I've never actually costed this recipe but, what I do know is that it will be cheaper than most and tastes better than any “luxury” versions sampled in the past – so my friends tell me!